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Workshop #240: Fly Away by Once, Nevermore

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This track has been submitted for your friendly, constructive criticism. What useful feedback can you give the artist? The floor is yours to talk about the track and how they can fix problems in and improve upon the mix and the song.

As this is a rough demo, feedback should be given on the song, lyrics and arrangement rather than production.

Description of the track:

This is a rough demo, recorded by a handheld digital recorder.

I originally wrote this song in 2001, months after I went through a major life-wrecking disappointment in my life. After revisiting it, years later, I found that the lyrics still made sense, but in a different way.

Artist's website: soundcloud.com/oncenevermore/tracks

Lyrics:

Fly away, don't let the pain follow you
Fly away, let your life guide you
Fly away and don't hide from the monsters hiding inside of you

Take a good look inside
There's still something missing
What you still don't know is that something is you
The enemy is you
The killer is you

Fly away, get as far away from yourself as you can
Fly away, don't look back, just go ahead
Fly away, you don't have to surrender to your worst nightmare

Take a good look inside
Still, there's something missing
What you still don't know is that something is you
The enemy is you
The killer is you

Take a good look inside
Yeah, there's something missing
But you still don't know is that something is you
The idiot is you
The bitch here is you

Terms of Use: Users can stream the track for the purposes of giving feedback but cannot download or redistribute it.


Have a listen to the track and offer your constructive criticism for this Workshop in the comments section. Feel free to offer any type of advice - arrangement, mix, lyrics, performance. And remember to play nice - be constructive!

Need constructive criticism on your own tracks? Submit them for a workshop using this form. Most but not all submissions are published. There may be a wait of up to two months.

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